Who ever thought we'd make it this far? I mean I guess we should count our lucky stars we made it past that tragic ending that the Mayans had planned for us 12/21/12. But seriously, twenty thirteen, two thousand thirteen, sounds like some dark comedy due to be released this summer. I actually quite like the number thirteen and count myself lucky to have been born on the thirteenth (even when it's on a Friday!) This year my birthday will be the same forwards and backwards. Yeah, another instance where I had too much time on my hands and I get to thinking about trivial things.
So, it's a new year and people, as always, are talking about their resolutions and looking back on what has happened in twenty twelve, the year gone by. I can honestly say that my outlook on things has completely turned around from twelve short months ago. A year ago, I was not in a very positive state of mind. I basically drifted from day to day letting life happen. I didn't really enjoy life. Things were dreary and gray, much like the winter season. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy winter, probably more than your average NEPAer. I think it's because I lived outside of NEPA and have seen what it's like without the winter season and being someone who likes winter in the first place, I totally missed the cold and snow. After the first few months, I snapped out of that funk and realized that I needed to make life happen, not just let it happen. I got out with friends more. Got up with (or even before) the sun and walked. I noticed I felt better and this made me happier. I turned forty and lived to tell about it! I went out on the weekends, I laughed harder than I'd laughed in a long time. I also had time for reflection, time to think about what had happened so far in my life. I evaluated what had made me truly happy and also things that had made me unhappy. Maybe this is part of being forty. I wrote. I spent time just sitting outside, reading, walking, listening to music and also listening to my own thoughts. At one point I even had the insight to realize what happened in every one of my adult romantic relationships. I realized that I had settled for people who could never make me happy. They just didn't have the qualities or the power to succeed. I was never going to be happy with them and the same held true for them. I had a habit of trying to make things work, when deep down, I knew it would never make me happy.
In the middle of all of this introspection and realization, I decided it was time to be happy. I was not going to settle ever again. If that meant I'd be alone, so be it. Is it so terrible to be alone? You can do whatever you want. You can do housecleaning in your underwear...or less! No one will criticize you if you don't do things the way they want. You live for you. You have the power. I had the power!
And out of nowhere, it happened. I let go of the past and was ready to let myself be happy. They always say it will happen when you least expect it. Let me tell you, 'they' are right! A friend from my younger days and I started communicating more. Reminiscing on old times and catching up. After awhile she asked me if I might be ready to date the right guy. She told me to sleep on it and if I was interested, to send her my email address in the morning. She would pass it on and then if it was meant to be, things would happen. She didn't even tell me his name! All she told me was that she had put a lot of thought into things as she has done some matchmaking in the past and she really had a good feeling about the two of us as a couple. A few days passed and I didn't hear anything, so I figured he wasn't interested. On Memorial Day, after spending a few days on my back at my parents house due to a bulging disc, I came home and checked my gmail to find the cutest introduction ever! Things progressed to talking on the phone, more emails and then finally the first date. How nerve-wracking that build-up was! He met the 'criteria on the list' and wow, things progressed. I've gotten to do and see and experience so many new things with him. He is the total package. The dream-come-true guy that most every woman wants to meet and I am the lucky one he wants to be with. Everything is fun with him. He can make me smile when he's not even trying to. I hope that I can make him feel 90% the way he makes me feel. I will die trying!
Yeah, 2012 has had some highs and lows, mostly highs when I think about it. There were some lows though too, but I have done my damnedest to push them down and not let them affect me. I mean, why be down in the dumps, when there are so many things in life to make you happy? Don't let people and things drag you down into the quagmire of doom. Lean on the people you can depend on. Your friends and family, they are the ones that matter. When all is said and done, they are the ones that count. They are the ones who will be there for you. They are the ones who want to see you happy. There was a quote in a movie called "Starter for 10" that has stuck with me. At a point when I really needed to hear this quote it was a comforting thought: The people who love you don't care if you make mistakes, it's what you do next that matters.
At this point, I wonder if 2013 could out-do 2012. My hope is that my life continues on it's current path of happiness and contentment. Bring it on, 2013! I am ready!