I love my Mom. I appreciate anyone who can perform the role of mother successfully and be happy doing so. I suppose we should have a day set aside to remind us of how much our mothers give up and put aside for their children, even though we should remember it every day. We wouldn't be here without Mom. All the basic skills, homework and rehearsals, rides to and from and all those life lessons she assisted us with, make her a major player in forming this little miracle ball of clay into something beyond her wildest dreams.
Then there is the other extreme. The mom who puts herself before her children, or does not protect those precious babies from needless harm. I am reminded of a former co-worker, who, when I met her had only one child and unbeknownst to me, another on the way. Her "boyfriend" skipped town and left her a single mom in mid-December. She had just started her part-time job and didn't have much to give her little girl for the holidays. Co-workers pulled together and made sure that she and her little girl had a much better than expected Christmas. She was very thankful to us and continued to make things work for the 2 (nearly 3) of them. Then, her boyfriend returned. Word around the water cooler was that he didn't treat her very well. She was the only one working. They lived in subsidized housing and he watched the kids while she worked. He also complained about every minute of it. Apparently, it couldn't have been too rough because they kept having kids. Upping the ante. She continued to work after each one was born. The third and fourth born had some health issues. Neither mom, nor dad had health insurance. They existed on food stamps and plenty of government assistance. Suddenly, she started acquiring some nicer things. An iPod, a cellphone, new clothes and word was that he was dealing drugs. She left him briefly, took the kids and moved in with her mom or some other relation. I have to give her a little credit, through all of her pregnancies, she continued to work. Next thing I knew there were murmurs around about her being pregnant again. I couldn't believe it. This would be number five. How can anyone think this is okay? To just continue to squeeze them out without being able to afford the ones you've already got, is pure ridiculousness in mine and many other's opinions. I feel really bad for the kids because, it's not their fault that they have really screwed up parents and possibly a really rough road ahead of them. About mid-way through pregnancy number five, an article appeared in the local paper about how my co-worker and her now husband got into a disagreement and he kicked her in the stomach. Weeks later they appeared in court and she ended up dropping the charges. He was later arrested, probably some drug charge of some sort. He ended up in lock-up for quite some time. She filed for divorce while he was in the hoosegow. Earlier this year he was scheduled for release and she got the kids all rounded up and split for the women's shelter before moving on to who knows where. Those poor children. They were miracle balls of clay, but their molding will likely be much less successful than that of most of us.
Why is it the low-lifes of the world seem to be 'fertile Myrtles?' There are so many people out there who want to be parents, myself included. People who would raise wonderful, loving, intelligent children and yet, they can't, for whatever reason. Life is not fair. I don't begrudge those who make it work and against all odds raise a family with success and happiness.
Mother's Day is a reminder to appreciate your Mom. But, to me, it's also a reminder of my own failure in life. Failure to carry on the legacy of what I learned from the wonderful woman who raised me, while some crack-head idiot pops out kids like they are Chicklets and puts them in harm's way to fend for themselves. Life truly is not fair.
